5 Wedding Traditions that are Disappearing
The garter had been caught by one of the groomsmen and I put on a loud song to get everyone dancing again. The photographer and maitre'd both looked at me and shouted "No!" ...I had forgot the re-mount.* Actually I had no idea what it was because I had never done it before.
Weddings used to be very traditional. These days, many couples just want to have a big party. They're not interested in all the old traditions. I'm no expert on wedding history. But with help from two wedding professionals and my experience you will now read about...
5 Wedding Traditions that are Disappearing
By DJ Ben Boylan
1. Garter and bouquet toss
"Single Ladies" or "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" starts playing. The bride throws her bouquet. Whichever single lady catches it is supposed to be the next to get married.
The garter toss is sillier. The bride sits on a chair. A sexy song like "Pony" by Ginuwine begins playing. The groom slides a garter belt off her leg and throws it to a group of single men. Sometimes they do the re-mount.*
"We do this maybe once every year. Most couples want to save themselves and everyone else the awkward and embarrassing moment and not waste any dancing time! A couple brides will just do a quick bouquet toss at the end," said Tara, owner of Dreammakers, a NY wedding coordination company.
Loreto of Loreto Caceres Photography, a NY photographer who specializes in weddings, also agreed about the garter and bouquet toss. "For the most part, that has been done with for a while now," she said.
These are disappearing the fastest of any tradition on this list. I almost never get a request to do a garter toss. Bouquet is done at about 20% of the weddings I DJ.
2. Cake cutting
The cake cutting used to be an elaborate ceremony in the middle of the room with announcements from the DJ. Many millennial couples are changing it up. "I’m noticing clients are doing away with the cake cutting, or a cake in general. Opting for other desserts instead," Loreto said.
Tara agreed that many people are switching out the cake for other desserts. She added, "Most couples are opting for the photographers/video to do it on the side. We are rarely seeing cakes being rolled out to the middle of the dance floor anymore."
The formal way the cake cutting used to be would really break up the dancing. Often, they scheduled it 15 minutes into the main dance set. When it was over, I'd have lost half the crowd.
3. Father of the bride welcome speech
Often at the very start of dinner, the father of the bride would give a welcome speech. "Since many couples are getting married older, they are either omitting this or giving a quick thank you speech themselves at the end," Tara said.
I see a lot of couples giving a thank you speech at different times during the night. And I think another reason for this is that couples are contributing to the cost of the wedding. Or paying for the whole thing.
4. Announcing the entire bridal party
Traditionally, this would happen at the start of the reception. The parents of the couple and everyone in their wedding party would walk out in pairs. The DJ would announce each pair over music. Often the pairs would try to one-up each other by doing a funny dance or trick.
"This can be awkward and puts pressure on the bridal party to think of something to do when they enter. It also adds another 15-20 minutes minimum to the start of a reception," said Tara.
I had a wedding recently where the couple chose an upbeat song and their wedding party walked out very slowly with their hands at their sides. They looked nervous. It was a little weird.
That being said, a lot of people really get into it. It depends on your family and friends.
5. Photographing the wedding prep
Most couples receive their wedding photos a couple months after their big day. The album used to start out in a certain way. There would be many photos of the bride doing her hair and makeup. The groom and groomsmen putting on their suits. The bride perfecting her dress, etc...
"I’m noticing a trend of clients who are starting not to care so much for the wedding prep part of the day. Or cutting it down," said Loreto. "I think more people are interested in using my time for the party than spending too much on getting ready," she added.
The buzzwords around weddings used to be "traditional" and "elegant." But now they are "do it your way," "fun," and "relaxed." A lot of millennial couples are focusing on great food and music. They want a once in a lifetime party. And they want to do it their way.
Thanks to my contributors:
Tara, owner of Dreammakers, a NY wedding coordination company
Loreto of Loreto Caceres Photography, a NY photographer who specializes in weddings
And if you are getting married and need a DJ, schedule a conversation with me
* I couldn't even find a description of this on the web. It's when the person who caught the garter puts it on the leg of the person who caught the bouquet.